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6. Sticking my nose into someone’scrotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.7. I don’t need to suddenly standstraight up when I’m under the coffee table.8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur beforeentering the house - not after.9. I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy!Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up too!Unless you are in prison!From a friend of J & G.Three pilots “flew west”. It had been hard enough to find the moon and star symbols at the tumulus. Regressing a star chart 600 or 2000 years to get the right pattern was not in his mental repertoire. It would require computer software and time that he didn’t have right now. He heard a sound behind him and without turning said, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it, darling?”“I’m not your darling,” said a male voice, “but for what it’s worth, it is beautiful.” Keith began to spin around, but the voice halted him. “Keep that thing pointed away until you’re finished, if you don’t mind.” Keith zipped himself up and then turned to face the newcomer.“Who are you?” Keith asked.“I’m your secret Santa,” the man said. The voice was even and cultured, and creepily smooth. The flashlight he held swung toward the tent. “Wakey-wakey, Madeline,” he called. “Get your freckled ass out here and talk to papa.” There was a frantic stirring in the tent and Maddie’s head popped out.“Derek?” she said, startled.“Please take time to get.
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